Kumbaya Much Read online

  “Seffy,” he said in a low voice.

  “That reminds me,” she said, dropping her voice lower, “why did you call me Sarah earlier?”

  His blue eyes widened. “I did?”

  “Yes, when we found you in your bathroom. I had a gun pointed to your head, you know.”

  He stared at her, his expression somehow preternatural. “Why didn't you pull the trigger?”

  Seffy returned his look, considering her answer. “Trent didn't want me to.”

  Fenn glanced away. “We have detailed interviews from all the outsiders. Someone must've mentioned your name.”

  We're known as 'the outsiders'? His answer didn't exactly satisfy her, but since his lucidity came and went, this would have to do. “Just make sure it doesn't get used again.”

  “Why do you go by a different name?” he asked, his voice odd.

  “I like Persephone better.”

  “It is pretty. I've always liked mythological names.”

  Seffy turned her head, watching for Trent. As much as he rattled her cage, she preferred him to Mr. Space Cadet here.

  Trent clunked up the stairs, hauling two large gas cans. “I don't think they're totally full.”

  “There would be some evaporation after sitting so long.”

  “Right.” Trent looked from her to Fenn, as if trying to discern the undercurrents between them. After a moment, he headed outside.

  Seffy followed. When she caught up to him, she tugged at his arm. “What are you going to do?”

  His brows inched up. “Walk back to the jeep and gas it up. You wait here with Fenn and I'll pick you both up.”

  “Can't I come with you instead?”

  “I think he needs someone to stay with him for the moment.”

  “I don't like him. Someone who's hooked up with Fiona can't be trusted.”

  “You've said many times that you can't trust me.”

  “That's different.”

  Trent leaned close. “How?”

  She sighed. “It just is.”

  Trent echoed her sigh with one of his own. He hoisted the gas can and took off down the road.

  “Wait!”

  He turned. “What?”

  “What are we going to do after this?”

  He regarded her with his gray eyes. “We don't have any choice but to go back to the compound.”

  Seffy shook her head, her respiration kicking up. “No way. You said we were getting out of here.”

  Trent strode back to her. “Things have changed.”

  “Why?”

  “You know why.”

  “What, because Fenn needs to go there? Are you saying we'll just drop him off then we hit the road again?”

  He looked away. “I don't know what will happen once we get back.”

  She licked her lips. “I don't want to go back.”

  “A few hours ago you apparently never wanted to leave.”

  “Please.”

  He closed his eyes for a brief moment. “Listen, we need to get Fenn back where he can get medical attention. Maybe we can smuggle him in so Fiona can't find him, I don't know.”

  “What about the stuff in the air?”

  “We'll get a hold of gas masks before we go inside. Besides, it will almost certainly be something temporary. After the initial exposure, those who have gas masks probably won't need them.”

  “Trent, if we go back, we're just rats trapped in a cage again.”

  “You know Fenn wouldn't survive a road trip to 1980s California.”

  She controlled her temper with an effort. “I don't know, he's able to survive pumping his veins full of poison pretty well.”

  “I'm not thrilled with how this has turned out either, but we have to deal.”

  “Yeah, well your planning skills stink.”

  A smile lifted one side of his mouth as he pulled her close with one arm. “Don't worry, I'm going to take care of you, Sef.”

  She sent him a dark look. “I don't need to be taken care of. I may be stuck in the 80s but my feminism isn't.”

  His smiled deepened. Trent lowered his head. Despite her words, Seffy didn't resist. His kiss enveloped her with a warmth and comfort she craved more than bravado. She gripped the front of his shirt in her hands, knowing the moment he stopped, he'd leave her alone with the runaway junkie.

  Trent lifted his lips and gazed at her. “I'll be back in a few minutes.”

  Seffy struggled to keep her expression neutral as she watched him turn and leave. She didn't bother to figure out the twisted wad of her emotions. There was no point when the sky was purplish and the sun, neon pink.

  Once Trent had disappeared from view, she returned inside the disco where she found Fenn sitting back on the floor, leaning up against the wall. Seffy crossed her arms and glared at him.

  “I'm sorry I upset your plans, whatever they were. It never occurred to me the jeep wouldn't return to the compound at some point.”

  She shrugged and averted her gaze.

  “Seffy, look at me.”

  Feeling like a recalcitrant child, she released a breath and looked at him. Seeing his gaunt features and exhausted expression, Seffy struggled not to feel empathy for him.

  “Look, I know I have failed you and your friends...”

  “I've heard this song before, Fenn. I know the words by heart. And they don't sound much more sincere coming from you than they did Fiona.”

  He looked down at his hands, apparently struggling with a response.

  Seffy dropped her arms. “You know, Trent and I risked our lives getting you those medical supplies. Have you even tried using them?”

  Fenn's head snapped up and his blue eyes reminded her of a gas flame. “Yes, and I was getting better...at least with my addiction. But my improvement didn't work for Fiona. She'd gotten used to running the compound and when I started taking back the helm, she found a way to keep me out of the picture.”

  Seffy snorted. “Why didn't she just off you then?”

  A muscle jumped in his jaw. “In her way, she loves me. She wants me sidelined, not dead.”

  “Now that is one healthy relationship.”

  He clamped his mouth closed and suddenly she knew he was avoiding mentioning her own obvious deficiencies in that area. “What about the leukemia? Have you found a donor match yet?”

  “It's a slow process in 1980. To avoid alarm, we've been slowly taking blood samples from each resident, including you and your friends, and having it tested. But the technology just doesn't allow for quick results.”

  “Do you know of any results of my blood? Olga said it had been sent out to area labs.”

  “From what I've heard so far, I just know it's not a match.”

  “Have you heard the part where I'm poisonous?”

  He sent her a weak smile. “I think that's going a bit far. You have some odd anomalies—”

  “Two people have died from it—along with a whole lot of mosquitoes.”

  “I'll be sure to have the results reported to you once they come in.”

  “Whatever.” Seffy looked away. C'mon, Trent, where are you?

  As if on cue the rattling sound of a vehicle approached. She twisted toward the door, then paused, reluctantly turning back to help Fenn up. They went outside and saw Trent drive up in the jeep. Seffy's heart lurched at the sight of him. It had been a long fifteen minutes. She jumped into the back of the jeep, knowing Fenn would be more comfortable in front. She ignored Trent's appreciative look.

  The ride back to the compound just about jarred her bones to dust. Complaining about the state of the roads would be pointless over the roar of the engine, so she stewed as she watched the passing landscape. No California, no new life, no hope. Instead there was megalomaniac Fiona, sick Fenn, crazy Addy, lovestruck Lani, possibly confused Gareth...

  Then there's me and Trent. And it makes even less sense than before. I really need to stop letting him kiss me. But even that thought failed to cheer.

  When the menacing bu
lk of the compound finally appeared as they headed down a hill, she stiffened with dread. Could she force herself to walk back into that hellish building? Guilt sliced through her. Her friends were there. Maybe they were even worried by her absence. And she longed to see Gareth, right?

  As the jeep approached the garage bays, several guards stepped forward to meet them without masks. Was the danger over or were the guards drugged? Trent stopped at the entrance of the chain-link fence. Seffy watched in wonder as Fenn jumped nimbly from the jeep and stood at ease, chatting with the men. What he was telling them she had no clue, but that's not what mattered. Had he been lying to her? Was his addiction a pseudo-illness used for purposes of manipulation?

  She stared when Fenn turned and strode back to the jeep. He went around to Trent's side and leaned nonchalantly against his door.

  “Follow that guy into the garage and turn off the engine. The 'air purification event' has been completed, so no masks necessary. Also, I told the guards you're with me under my auspices. It should help Seffy to be seen with me too, which implies she's not an infection danger.”

  Big whoop. Seffy sent a sullen look at Fenn, wondering why Trent wasn't as outraged as she was over his acting skills. Or was he reverse faking? Acting all hale and hearty to his staff so his illness didn't undermine his authority. Either way phhbbtt. Seffy glared at the compound, every fiber of her being rebelling at the idea of going back inside.

  Fenn got back into the jeep. As they drove past the fencing, she glanced at him and saw the strain on his face. Okay, fine, so he was faking being healthy to look all 'in control'. It didn't improve her mood any. Once they were inside the garage, she noticed all the guards were armed instead of just a few. That couldn't be a good sign.

  Fenn leaned close to Trent as he shut down the motor and spoke in a low voice Seffy couldn't hear. Trent gave a curt nod and Fenn jumped from the jeep. She watched as he strode past the guards and disappeared through one of the doors.

  “Did he get his head clear?”

  Trent turned and faced her across the seat. “What?”

  “Did he get his head clear? That was his big plan, right?”

  Instead of answering, Trent climbed from the vehicle and held out his hand to help her out. She looked at his hand, then gave a quick shake of her head. “I'll wait until you restock the jeep so we can leave.”

  “Seffy, you need to get out of the vehicle.”

  Her heart began to pound at his grave expression. Still ignoring his outstretched hand, she clambered from the back and stood facing him, ignoring the heavily-armed guards who milled around in important ways. “Okay, I'm out. I'll just wait here until...”

  Trent stepped close and bent his head toward her. “Um, here's the thing, Sef. We won't be leaving.”

  As she looked up at him in abject disappointment, the garage doors slammed to the ground with a clatter that made her jump.

  “Fiona ordered a lock-down as soon as Fenn returned.”

  She lowered her eyes. “So she found out he was missing.”

  “And apparently it didn't go over too well.”

  She reached up and touched the fabric of his flannel shirt, needing the contact before she went ballistic. “Why a lock-down?”

  “I guess it's part of the effort to get the compound under complete control.”

  Seffy stared at the buttons of his shirt, her fingers bunching the fabric as reality set in. “I can't be back here.” She glanced up at him, her face twisted in an effort not to cry. “Please don't make me go back.”

  Trent stared at her, his forlorn expression telling her he was just as disappointed. “We don't have a choice—”

  “Miss Carter, we've been instructed to escort you back to your room.”

  Anger flared within her and she tensed, ready to shake off the guard's arm if he dared touch her.

  Trent's hand closed over hers on his chest and he bent to her ear. “Don't react. We don't know who was and who wasn't affected by the 'purification'. Be as mellow as you can to avoid drawing unnecessary attention, please.”

  Seffy pressed her lips together, staring blindly at his hand. When she felt a guard tug on her arm, she looked at Trent, unable to mask her dismay. His returning look implored hers for understanding. She glanced down at the thick-gloved hand on her arm and stepped away from Trent.

  As she was 'escorted' back to her room, Seffy tried not to notice the beige walls and cement block construction that gave the compound that not-so-appealing prisonish air. She passed a few residents, all who sent her gentle smiles.

  When she arrived at her room, it took all of her self-control not to jerk free from the guard's hand. Once she was alone inside her room, she leaned against her closed door and said a very bad word. As her temper cooled, she marched to the closet and strode down the passageway. But before pushing open Trent's door, she paused. No, I'm not speaking to him right now. I don't want to hear anymore empty promises of freedom.

  Seffy spun around and headed to Lani's room. She checked the hall first to make sure it was clear, then tried to walk in a mind-numbed way—or whatever it was supposed to look like—in case she ran into anyone. At Lani's door, she raised her hand to knock, but heard sounds from inside. Pressing her ear against the door, her brows went up when she heard laughter. Seffy did a quick knock, then opened the door. She found Lani, Addison, and Gareth looking at her expectantly.

  Lani jumped up and came across the room. “Come in! We were just talking about you.”

  Seffy stopped short. “You were?” She stared at Addison, whose expression riveted her to the floor. The redhead smiled serenely, her green eyes kind.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “Hey,” Seffy echoed faintly.

  Next she glanced at Gareth. He sat on the bed against the headboard, his legs stretched out. His complexion had cleared of the worst of the mottling and his smile glowed with affection as he patted the spot next to him. As if caught in a tractor beam, Seffy walked toward him, knowing that he'd been under the influence of the drug as Trent had suggested, but still unable to resist the appeal in his eyes.

  Before perching next to him on the bed, she peeked at Addison to see how she was taking it.

  Addy smiled. “Where have you been? We missed you.”

  Whoa. That is some chill pill. Gotta get me some of that. “Uh, around. So...are you feeling okay, Addy?”

  She shrugged, her eyes clear. “I feel great. Why?”

  Oh, nothing. You just destroyed a computer lab before breakfast. No big. Seffy looked at Gareth. “And you? You were pretty sick earlier. How are you feeling?”

  “Better.” He touched her hand, his fingers caressing. “Especially now that you're here.”

  Oh, mama, I am so toast.

  Lani danced by, humming a tune. Seffy blinked. No big difference there.

  “We were just reminiscing about high school,” she said, finally floating down onto a chair.

  “High school?” Seffy asked, fighting incredulity. The drug couldn't be that strong, could it? “I thought we agreed to forget that.”

  Addison let out a chuckle. “Well, it's hard to forget when Gareth got caught rolling the band teacher's house with TP.”

  “Yeah, you said 'Hey, Teach, I'm returning tree pulp to its natural environment'.” Lani splutter-laughed, doubled over.

  “What do you want to bet that guy's horrid wife made him take it all down and use it in the bathroom?” Addison giggled.

  “You know it,” Gareth said.

  Seffy felt the beginnings of a smile tug at her lips. That had been pretty funny. Suddenly high school didn't seem nearly the hell she remembered...after seeing what the so-called sanctuary Fugere dished out. Before she knew it, she was launching into a few memories of her own.

  Chapter Twelve

  Seffy returned to her room and glanced at the clock. Nearly midnight. She let out a low laugh. Wow. I haven't had that much fun since...forever. She closed her eyes, feeling a warmth and glow she'd assumed was long
forgotten.

  “Where have you been?”

  Seffy opened her eyes to see Trent coming through her closet door. She sighed. “I was with my friends. Why?”

  He stood close, placing a hand on the door next to her head. “You don't seem so disappointed anymore about being stuck in the compound.”

  She looked away, hearing the disbelieving tone of his voice. “I'm just trying to cope in my own way, okay?”

  “I've been waiting for you. Why didn't you come to my room when you got back from the garage?”

  Seffy knew he had a right to ask the question, what with all her touching and allowing kisses and such. But he'd brought her back to the compound after making her believe she wanted to leave. “I'm thinking I'm going to figure out how to get my own happy dose. It beats bitter disappointment.”

  His expression tightened as the words hit home. “Sef, you know those vibes your friends are suddenly sending your way are purely pharmaceutical.”

  “Yeah, I know. But maybe it's enough.”

  Trent rolled his eyes. “You do like being in denial, don't you?”

  “I'm not in denial. I know that after the effects fade, it will be all weird again.”

  “So you're willing to accept the fake when the genuine is standing right in front of you?”

  Seffy gazed at his handsome face, wishing she could discern the truth behind his eyes. She lowered her voice. “The difference between me and you, Trent, is that I'll take scraps—whatever I can get—from those I care about. You...you want it all. And I just don't have it all to give.” Her voice broke. “I haven't for a long time.”

  He leaned closer until his breath fanned her face. “You're just unwilling, not unable.”

  “You had your chance today. But you brought me back.”

  Trent pushed away from the door, clearly stung. “We ran out of gas. That's all.”

  “Consider it a metaphor for us. We sputter along sometimes, but in the end, we go nowhere.”

  He snorted. “Cute.”

  Seffy regretted the tangible cooling from the guy she'd grown used to having close by. As he turned and headed back to his room, she knew she didn't have the guts to give him what he wanted. He was right. She was scared.