Kumbaya Much Read online

  “Remember when we had a talk about Gareth being kind of toxic for you?”

  She nodded.

  “At that time I was thinking clearly. But in the last few days, it's like my mind is syrupy and dark and light can't really get through.”

  Seffy couldn't help but smile. “I think I know what you mean.”

  “But it seems to be lifting—the dark and sticky part. So I'm hopeful things will make sense again.”

  Seffy felt bad that she couldn't tell Lani about the happy air that was almost certainly the cause for her confusion.

  “Anyway, I've been thinking about your visit last night with Gareth and how you went off alone with him. I can tell by the fact that you've been crying that it didn't go well.”

  Seffy raised her hand to her cheek. “You can tell that?”

  Lani nodded. “And well, you've gone through some difficult circumstances while you've been here, so I think you and Gareth should part. He's only making you miserable. And he's a mess, too.”

  Seffy gave a nervous laugh. “I, uh, think the parting has already happened.”

  “But you're sad.”

  “Of course I'm sad! This is Gareth we're talking about here.”

  Lani took a sip of her soda. “Sweetie, this isn't a new problem. You two have danced around each other for years. There's a reason it hasn't worked out.”

  Her brows went up. “Which is?”

  “Well, only you two know what binds you. The point is, you're both torturing each other with vain hope that there will be some miraculous reconciliation.”

  “We are?”

  Lani nodded firmly. “You're at that difficult point where a cleansing is a required. Remember how the spa sold those colon cleansers—?”

  “I need a different word picture here, Lani!”

  The brunette sighed. “You always were a bit squeamish. At any rate, the time for pussyfooting around is past. You must make a clean break. And it must be irrevocable.”

  “Irrevocable?” Seffy put up her hands in a gesture of surrender. “What does that even look like?”

  “I don't know for sure. You know I always love a happy ending, but there just isn't going to be one for you and Gareth. You know that in your heart of hearts.”

  Seffy made a face, unsure what to make of the conversation. “So you came here this morning, specifically to tell me this?”

  “Actually, I wanted to borrow that turquoise boho blouse, but I thought while I was here, I'd mention it—now that I'm thinking more clearly, and all.”

  “Well, thanks, I think.” She waved Lani over to her closet.

  Seffy pondered her friend's words, wondering how someone looped up on medication could see what she couldn't. Or wouldn't.

  “Oh, I've never seen this hallway before! Where does it lead?”

  Gasping in horror, Seffy jumped up and hurried across the room. “It's nothing! Just a place for ductwork or wiring or something.” She tried to pull the panel closed, but Lani stopped her.

  “Let's see where it goes!”

  “Lani, it's nothing...” She groaned as her friend ignored her and walked cautiously down the passageway.

  “Oh! It leads into another room!”

  “It does?” Gah, how did I ever think I could be an actress?

  Lani strolled into Trent's bedroom and looked around. Seffy had no choice to follow. “Well, isn't that something!”

  Her friend put her hands on her hips and sent her a look. “This is Trent's room—I recognize that sweatshirt.”

  “Huh, that's weird.”

  Lani's blue eyes swiveled her way. “You're a horrible liar, Sef, which explains why you're in such a predicament with Gareth. You can't even lie to yourself!”

  Seffy blew out a breath, deciding to come clean—mostly. “Trent picked this room because it connected with mine, not the other way around.”

  Her eyes sparkled. “So do you two use the passageway for secret trysts?”

  “No.”

  She frowned. “Why not?”

  “Lani, c'mon, I mean, no, of course not.”

  “Now think real hard, hun, and tell me the truth why you haven't taken advantage of such a sweet little opportunity.”

  Seffy's heart fluttered wildly in her chest. She looked down at the floor, but as she sifted through a plethora of excuses, one suddenly stood out. She looked up to find a triumphant light in Lani's eyes. “Because Gareth wouldn't like it.”

  ***

  Trent met the usual phalanx of guards at Fenn's quarters, but after some grumbling, he was allowed through. He wondered if the real test would come when he had to face the tiny dragon. But the compound leader was alone.

  Fenn looked up from where he reclined on the leather couch as Trent entered. The lines of fatigue on his face seemed more pronounced than before. Fenn sent him a bitter smile. “Fiona put up quite a fight.”

  Trent looked over his shoulder before sitting on the opposite couch. “Is she still here?”

  “No. I had her escorted back to her own quarters.”

  “Whoa.”

  “She'll come around. For now, I have to be visibly in charge. She got away with doing quite a few things by saying I was ill. I'll have some things to undo, but honestly, she can run this place...iron fist-wise.”

  “Is that the vibe you're going for at a place that means 'refuge'?”

  He snorted softly. “Exactly.”

  Trent leaned back against the cushions. “So, the air is all done being 'purified', the lock-down is over and we can leave?”

  Fenn looked away for a moment. “You got the first two right. But leaving...well, there might be complications. In fact, we have some new concerns.”

  “Why am I not surprised?”

  “Trent, you saw the damage done to that small town with the disco, right?”

  “Yeah?”

  “There are other surrounding areas my people found when they went for supplies. There were mutilated animals, corpses rotting in the sun...”

  Trent suppressed a stab of disappointment. He'd only seen a couple of junked shops. Was Fenn trying to scare him? “Any reanimated folk?”

  Fenn pressed his fingertips together. “No, it looks like animal attack.”

  “Chupacabras? Dinosaurs?” He remembered Seffy's odd fear. “Gnomes?”

  “We don't know yet,” he said, ignoring the joke. “If you insist on leaving, I'll supply you with a jeep and supplies, but we don't know how far the problem goes beyond a couple hundred miles from here.”

  Trent studied Fenn's face, thinking he'd almost prefer Fiona. With her, you knew who you were dealing with. Was Fenn manipulating him—making him think he had a choice to leave when there really wasn't any chance? He decided to change the subject. “Any donor matches yet?”

  “Actually, there is a promising lead in that area.”

  Trent looked down at his hands. “Did Seffy's blood work come back yet?”

  “It just came in this morning.” He shook his head. “I had a doctor look over it. Unfortunately, her results are largely inconclusive. There are more anomalies that just can't be explained.”

  “So basically nothing new.”

  “Nothing new.”

  Trent could see that coming here was pointless. It seemed it was two steps forward and about five back. “So this doctor—is he the one who ran your detox?”

  Fenn's expression flattened almost imperceptibly. “Yes.”

  “How did he know the procedure? I mean it's a pretty modern treatment—my time modern, I mean.”

  “Using the basic principles, we made do, and it seems successful. All the methadone, heroine, the paraphernalia...have all been collected and destroyed. This doctor will monitor me and make sure I stay on the straight and narrow.”

  Trent leaned forward. “You won't regret getting clean. It's totally worth it.”

  A muscle jumped in Fenn's jaw. “It's already cost me more than anything I could imagine.”

  “I'm here if I can help in any way
.”

  “I appreciate that, Trent. Seriously.”

  “So any information from the intruders?”

  “Not really. They've been pretty resistant to our interrogation techniques, but that just proves they don't belong here.”

  “How can they be stopped? More will keep coming, right?”

  Fenn's eyes darkened and his hands clenched. “Since they seem to come from outside the compound, we have extra security in place. In the meantime, Eugene is working on getting the lab back up and running. We have new computers coming in and the techs are working on reestablishing the data. But it will take some time.”

  Trent looked down to hide his expression. He had the sickening feeling that it wasn't as much of a setback to Fenn as it was to him.

  “How's Seffy?”

  His head snapped up. “She's fine. Why?”

  “I'd like her to move closer to my quarters, for security reasons.”

  Trent struggled to keep his face impassive.“Ahh, I doubt she'll go for that.”

  “It would be for her own safety. The section you're in is just about the farthest point from here.”

  And that's how we'll keep it. “Like I said before, she's got me.”

  “But you're here and she's alone.”

  “She's armed and has friends down the hall.”

  The intensity of Fenn's look didn't faze Trent. There was no way he was going to let anyone else put the mojo on her. Trent already had his hands full with Gareth-itis, and now it looked like Fenn wanted in on the action. With his luck, Sef would transfer her affections from the metro-sexual to the compound leader, skipping him altogether. Geez.

  “Well, if there's anything I can do or offer to make sure she stays safe...”

  “The best thing would be for us to go, if you want the truth.”

  “What, you mean 1980?”

  “If that's all we got.”

  He nodded slowly. “I can understand how you feel, but we'll try to get things to a place where you don't have to settle for second best.”

  Trent rose, done with doublespeak. He reached out his hand and shook Fenn's to show support for the addiction recovery.

  But that was it.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Seffy finally succumbed to one of the mystery cans. It was food even if she didn't so much care for the canned variety at the moment.

  All afternoon, she'd stewed over Lani's words. Lani—the one who'd risk anything for a fleeting emotion—the one who practically worshiped a roller disco movie from the 80s—was not necessarily the one to be taking relationship advice from. Unfortunately her other friend was furious with her and now involved in self-mutilation. So she had two ends of the spectrum and no clue which way to go.

  Seffy kept thinking about the word 'irrevocable'. That meant so many scary things. But she wasn't sure she wanted to give up on Gareth yet. He was disappointed in her. Heck, she was disappointed in herself. Why did it have to mean a full separation? Maybe, now that she was a bit more composed, she should try talking to Gareth one more time. He should be more or less free from the effects of the drug. Maybe he wouldn't even remember what he'd said the night before.

  Deciding to take the step before she chickened out, Seffy quickly checked her hair and makeup and headed to the door. When she opened it, Gareth stood on the other side.

  “I didn't even knock.”

  Seffy stared at him with a heart full of fractured hope. “I was actually on my way to see you.”

  “Can I come in?”

  “Of course.” She stepped back and allowed him to enter. Seffy firmly closed the door and did the same to the closet door.

  Gareth stood in the middle of the room, rubbing the back of his neck. His dark, clean-cut good looks coupled with his hesitant manner melted her heart into a puddle the shape of a boot scraper.

  He glanced up at her, his golden brown eyes beseeching. “I don't know what to say, Sef...partly because I don't remember what I said last night. I just know it wasn't good.”

  “I'm going to sit down,” she said faintly. And she did, on the edge of her couch.

  Gareth remained standing. “Sef, my thoughts have been pretty much mush the last week or so, but I've also been thinking a lot about the past.”

  “The past?” she echoed. I was kind of hoping for more of a 'future' chat.

  He shoved his hands in his pockets. “You and I have been through a lot and I...gladly... made changes in my plans to achieve what I thought was a worthy goal.”

  Seffy's chest tightened.

  “And I know there are no guarantees in life...but I guess I expected better from you.”

  Before she could formulate a response, he continued.

  “I wish I could let go of this disappointment, but it was something I always feared. To have it realized is...”

  Seffy stood up, heart pounding. “Actually, this is pretty much what you said last night and I didn't really like it then, so...”

  The skin around his eyes tightened. “Does it mean anything to you?”

  Seffy closed her eyes for a moment, marshaling her emotions. “I've made bad choices, I've made mistakes...in spite of all your efforts. All I can ask for is forgiveness.” She took a few steps toward him and reached out her hand, resting her fingers on his arm. “Will you forgive me, Gareth? Please?”

  His expression was unreadable as he regarded her for several moments. Finally he looked away. “I'm not seeking apologies, Seffy. I just wish things were the way they used to be.”

  She wanted to say that if he forgave her, maybe they could wipe the slate clean, but she could tell by the set of his jaw, he was decided. “I can't undo the past,” she said softly.

  He looked down. “I know. I wish I didn't feel angry and bitter, but I do. I resent that you've done this...to us...to everything we've worked for.”

  What have I done, exactly? “What if I promise never to...make mistakes again?”

  He shook his head. “You'll do it again. You won't be able to help yourself. And you're beyond even my help now.”

  Fury boiled up within her. “Well, if I had any question about how you really feel about me, it's been cleared up.”

  Gareth's eyes widened at her tone. “I'm sorry, Sef. It's not what I want either.”

  Seffy stared at him with a fulminating expression until he looked away. With a sigh, he turned and left her room. She glared at the closed door for a long time before going to the wall and sliding down to a sitting position. Dropping her head in her hands, she grieved for something she'd never known or had.

  ***

  Trent did not appreciate finding Seffy slumped over against the wall like a discarded doll. With his heart in his mouth, he touched her shoulder, expecting the worst. Relief flooded him when her eyes fluttered open.

  She smiled slightly when she saw him. “I was dreaming about the cat.”

  “Seffy, what are you doing on the floor?”

  She blinked and looked around, clearly disoriented. “I guess I was too tired to...get on the bed.”

  Trent reached down and helped her up. “Are you sure you're okay?”

  For a moment the anguish swimming in her gaze made his heart lurch, but she lowered her eyes and nodded. He helped her to the couch where she sat down heavily, laying her cheek on the arm.

  He sat next to her. “What have you been up to while I was gone?”

  Seffy closed her eyes for a moment. “I...guess you could say I tied up a loose end.”

  “Care to elaborate?”

  “Nope.”

  Trent smiled at her. “I had to try.” He reached up and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Are you hungry? Do you want to get something for dinner?”

  Seffy sat up, her cheeks suddenly flushed. “I want to find out what happened to the cat.

  ***

  One of these days I'm going to have to put my foot down. Trent angled a glance at Seffy, who by the martial glint in her eye, appeared to be on a mission. Why she was fixated on a cat
, he didn't have a clue. Why they weren't going out for Italian and a movie, he didn't know that either. But here he was, indulging her because he was apparently helpless to say no. Was this how the Fiona's of the world got started? He gripped the bag containing the hairy skirt and longed for a cold beer.

  “Okay,” Seffy said, breathless, “Eugene's gonna be a little difficult, so I may need backup.”

  “Backup?”

  “Just be ready.”

  He sighed as they arrived at the chief scientist's door. Seffy knocked loudly. Maybe he's out. Please let him be out.

  Eugene opened the door, then squeaked when he saw Seffy. She shoved her sneaker in the gap when he tried to close the door. “How's it going, Eugene?”

  “Miss Carter, I don't remember hearing that your quarantine was lifted.”

  “Don't worry about any quarantine, just open up. I need to talk to you.”

  “I'm sure you'd be better off forwarding any concerns to the Fugere staff—”

  “You are staff.” Seffy used her shoulder to push open the door. “And I brought hired muscle, so you should just open up the door.”

  Eugene peeked over her shoulder and saw Trent.

  Trent sent him an apologetic smile while trying to look tough at the same time.

  “Okay, just keep your germs away from me.” The scientist stepped away from the door and allowed them in. He went to the far side of the room, stepping around chairs and over piles of books.

  Trent looked around and could easily imagine how a cat could die in this rat's nest. Maybe the reason the time travel experiments failed was because Eugene didn't even know how to clean his room.

  “All right, Miss Carter, I've graciously allowed you to enter. Please state your business.”

  Seffy didn't waste any time. She grabbed the bag from Trent, pulled out the skirt and held up it up in front of her. “What do you see?”

  “A woman's garment? Really, this is awkward—”

  She lowered the skirt. “I was wearing this when I came to get information from you about all that hub stuff, and that's when I petted your cat on my lap.”

  “I already told you—”

  “This skirt has orange cat hair on it from the day I was here. You're lying to me about Schroeder.”